Deep waters

We just got word a few hours ago that Dave's grandfather, who he was very close to, died last night. I feel my desperate need for sustaining grace and strength as we continue to walk through these deep waters.

The thought of walking through another funeral right now, seems overwhelming to me. But I continue to remind myself that there is grace for just today. As soon as I found out, the song, How Firm a Foundation popped right into my mind, particularly the 3rd verse. I know it was the Lord impressing it on my heart that He is near, He is able, and He is good.

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
is laid for your faith in his excellent word!
What more can he say than to you he hath said,
to you that for refuge to Jesus have fled?

"Fear not, I am with thee; O be not dismayed!
For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

"When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
the rivers of woe shall not thee overflow;
for I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
and sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

"When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
my grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;
the flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

"The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to its foes;
that soul, though all hell shall endeavor to shake,
I'll never, no, never, no, never forsake."

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Brandon and Annie Averill

If ever I have felt more inadequate to say thanks to people it has been the past few weeks. We have been so effectively cared for and served. I hope to highlight some of those people in the coming days and point out their sacrifices for us and evident love for the Savior.

Brandon and Annie

They are a couple in our care group who has demonstrated amazing care for us. About 2 weeks ago, when we came home, they started offering to come over and spend some evenings here with us. I think at one point they came 3 nights in a row, eating dinner with us, helping with the girls and cooking for us. Seeing that it helps us to have people here at night, they offered to come and stay a few nights...those few nights turned into a whole week. So, for the past week, they have stayed here and made our home their home. They have bought us food, cooked or us, gotten up early with the girls, cared for our souls, laughed with us, cried with us, and I could go on and on.

I have been drinking tea tons these days and last week I ruined my tea kettle. Annie happened to notice and came home the next day with a brand new one. They have come through the door in the evenings with bags of groceries. They spent Thanksgiving with us and were willing to give up all their plans to serve us. These are just a few of the ways they have blessed us. Today they left and it was very bittersweet. I know we will be going through Averill withdrawal for a number of days.

Brandon and Annie - I know my thanks will always seem inadequate to communicate my heart. But you both have gone above and beyond expectation. All I can think to say is that your care for us has expressed, in a tangible way, the love of the Savior and the reality of His promises, that He will provide for all of our needs. Having people here is a huge means of grace; the Lord knew and He provided. So grateful for you both!

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An Anchor

I didn't post yesterday...it was a very hard day and grief seemed to sweep over me all too often. Life seemed very surreal. On a day when it seemed the whole world around me was carefree and for everyone celebration came so easy, it was a fight of faith to just hold my head up. But, I know that is ok....it's normal despite how incredibly hard it is. Yet, in the midst of it all, I was thankful - thankful for my Savior, thankful for grace and mercy, thankful for friends and family.

I read the following quote the other day, and took time to ponder this anchor that I have. The quote adequately describes my grief. I thought of a ship with it's anchor in the sea. Although the wind might seek to blow the ship and move it from it's place, the anchor holds it still. How grateful I am that I have an anchor for my soul...it's the hope my Savior has provided. He is holding me still amidst the wind of this trial that would seek to run me off course.

From Grief to Glory, pg. 56:

"Real grief is not easily comforted. It comes like ocean waves rushing up the sand, subsiding back, only to roll in again. These waves vary in size, frequency, and intensity. Some are small, lapping up around the feet. Others are stronger; they foam the water around you and cause you to stagger. Then there are the overwhelming waves with an undertow that can turn your world upside down and drag you out into the deep water. In times such as those, the mourner desperately needs an anchor. And, indeed, God has promised His people a blessing if they patiently endure. He has guaranteed the promise so that we might lay hold of the hope set before us. This hope is the anchor of the soul, and it is sure and steadfast (Heb. 6:19)."

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We'll always remember

I am so grateful for pictures. For those who do not know, a good number of these pictures were taken one or two days before Alivia met Jesus. This is the slide show from the memorial service. I must thank Megan Russell, who did an amazing job editing all my pictures and Kristen Snyder who put together this slide show. Just a note, pause the playlist on the right of my blog before pressing play on the slide show.

These pictures are a gift from the Lord that will help me more fully remember my little one. And, although I often have a very hard time looking at them, I treasure them with all my heart.

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Music

I have grown to a greater appreciation for music these days. In fact, I play songs on my ipod (Dave rigged up his old speakers to my ipod) almost all day long. Jon Smith put about 40 songs on my ipod for me...ones that he thought would minister and serve me...and they so have. I wanted to be able to share some of the ones that have been my favorites as of late. These songs keep me focused on the Cross, provide necessary perspective, and have even helped me grieve well.

For those who know me well, know that I am no techy. I often have a hard time figuring out the simplest thing on my computer. Anyway, Mark Plunnecke (the best brother-in-law in the world) served me by putting some of these particular songs on my blog. Thanks, Mark and Kel. You both continue to amaze me by your care.

Pleases listen to the words and join me in praising our Lord and being amazed at the saving work of our Savior.

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Baby steps

From the beginning, Jenni has encouraged me to focus on taking simple baby steps. What that means is focusing and relying on grace for just the next minute or 5 minutes...and only doing small things. There are times I am not sure I can even get out of a chair to go get one of the girls a drink, change Selah's diaper, or even think about making a decision. BUT, in those times I need to remind myself, "Baby steps, Heather, baby steps...there is grace to get this drink or change that diaper." And I find that as I do, grace meets me, strengthens my weak body and soul and enables me to take that baby step. It is more challenging and harder than I could ever have imagined...yet I know and am experiencing grace to be greater.

So, some of the baby steps I can give thanks to God for include:
*making breakfast for my family
*doing dishes
*cleaning my bathroom
*going to church
*tucking my girls into bed
*laughing with friends

Some even harder ones:
*being able to hold some of Alivia's clothes and weeping
*when I pass by a stroller, continuing to walk, when I want to fall
*answering Mckenna or Selah when they ask, "where is the baby, momma?"

Doubt and fear are ever near, but I know there is grace for these baby steps and I trust grace will continue to meet me. I am coming to know what it really means to live by grace alone and that I can take no credit for anything I do.

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"Jesus help...and be glorified."

From the book, Grief to Glory:

"Johann Sebastian Bach was master musician who left us a wealth of worshop music of the highest order and beauty. After composing a piece of music, he often closed his manuscript with the initials, 'S.D.G.' (Soli Deo Gloria - 'To God Alone Be Glory'). Many of his works also began with the abbreviation 'J.J.' (Jesu Juva or 'Jesus, help me').

It is not well known today that Bach was a bereaved parent. In fact, he was married twice (his first wife predeceased him), and of the twenty children born of his two marriages, he saw thirteen of them carried to the grave. Bach did his best to instill courage into his second wife's suffering heart by giving her a music book. Three times he wrote into the book variations of a simple tune he composed for her based on the hymn 'Fred Not, my soul; on God rely.'

Despite the grief that surely must have characterized much of his life, Bach was able to raise his thoughts to the grandeur and majesty of Christ, and from his pen flowed hymns of praise like the familiar, 'Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring' and 'My heart Ever Faithful,' the latter of which has the following verse:

My heart ever faithful, sing praises, be joyful;
Sing praises, be joyful, they Jesus is near.
Away with complaining, away with complaining,
Faith ever maintaining, my Jesus is near.

Oh, to have such simple, childlike trust in God as Father. Every day we who have lost children should remember the example of Bach and pray, 'Jesus, help me,' as we rise from bed and, 'Glory to God alone,' when the day is done."

My prayer is that I, by grace alone, would do the same.

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When I don't know what to do

Nicole sent me this the other day. I am daily reminded, through the care of others in the means of email, of the love of my Savior. Thanks, Nicole!

"I read this verse the other day and I don't know if it will serve you or not but I thought I would send it in case. It's when King Jehoshaphat was faced with a large army coming his way and he prayed to the Lord: "We are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you. (2 Chronicles 20:12) I can't imagine what you are going through right now but if there are moments where you feel powerless and do not know what to do, I thought this verse might be a helpful prayer to cry out to God. Of course, God answered Jehoshaphat's prayer and He will surely answer yours. "When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him." (Psalm 91:15)

Also, I sent this to you via other means so if you've received this from me already I apologize. It's simply a quote from Beside Still Waters. I pray it reminds you of the faithfulness of God.

'Some of you are enduring deep affliction. In your extraordinary trial, remember the depth of divine faithfulness. You may be unable to comprehend why, but I urge you to believe in the firmness and stability of divine affection. You will have comfort in proportion to your trials...If you have deep afflictions you will obtain deeper proof of God's faithfulness....God will not fail. God will not take away His hand until He has finished His purpose concerning us. Great trials bring great promises...There is love, immortal and unchanging love, in heaven toward you, which will never grow cold. You will be helped. God would sooner cease to be than cease to be faithful. Be of good courage, for today He will strengthen your heart.' pg. 19"

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What ministers and serves me

Many have asked what types of things serve me in this season. I am so blessed that others would ask that. We have been learning that the grieving process is different for everyone and what has/does serve others might not serve me(us) and visa versa. So, I thought I would mention a few things for those who have asked or were thinking about asking:

1. Questions. Here are some random questions I have found helpful:
"How was your day?"
"What has the Lord been showing you through this?"
"How can I be praying for you?"
"How are your girls doing?"
"Is there anything you need at the store?"
"I'm going _________. Would you like to come along?"
"We are free tonight, tomorrow evening, next week, etc. Would you and Dave like some
company?" (Please know that if we don't take you up on it, it isn't an indication of anything.
We love you dearly.)

Often making your question too specific can be unhelpful. This is not an exhaustive list, so please don't feel like these are the only questions you can ask.

2. Listening.
Don't feel the need to say much. Just listening to me talk is ever so helpful. Often it will cause my mind to go to all the Lord is doing in this season, the good I am seeing, and that so serves me. It brings perspective and reminds me that my little girl's life was not in vain, nor is this painful trial...but the Lord is at work. My soul ends up greatly encouraged...and I am able to shed tears and emotion that is helpful to get out. My thoughts go to times we have had with Joe and Esther or other couples who have been walking through this with us. At times there were moments of comfortable silence. I appreciated how they were comfortable with it and their posture was just a listening one...listening to the Lord, listening to us. I guess you have to be comfortable to listen. We are comfortable with you not knowing what to say. Often Dave doesn't know what to say. Job's friends didn't say a word for 7 days and nights. Just having friends with us is enough. So, it's OK to say something, but it's also true that sometimes "silence is golden."

3. Emailing.
Sending a note along to say you are praying is one of the things that blesses me the most. I am aware more than ever how much I need the prayers of others. Also, quotes from men such as Spurgeon, etc. and Scriptures really bless me. Please be sensitive to content as things that mention that this is just a season, or to wait because it will take time/time heals, or that these events have been perfectly planned can be hard to hear. Although they can contain good truths (and we do love the truths of God), we remember that Jesus knew all the truth the Bible now contains and yet he wept. Verses and passages that contain God's words of comfort, particularly him affirming his love to his people, are very helpful.

4. Understanding.
I have been trying to keep up on my email. And I have been so blessed (beyond what I can communicate) by all the notes, emails and offers to help that I am getting. If it is in your heart, PLEASE keep them coming. They so minister to me. But if I don't get back to you, please know I am ever so grateful.

When we have been around others, light conversation is sometimes helpful. However, often I find that asking the questions I that noted first, listening....and then transitioning later can be most helpful. We are very aware of what has happened and the incredible impact it has on our life. This type of transition in conversation/fellowship blesses us because it allows us to acknowledge the importance of Alivia and provides a helpful bridge for us to lighter talk and laughter. Laughter has been a blessing to us in this season. I am so grateful to people like Jon Smith who have made me laugh and reminded me what a gift laughter is.

However, if you notice me getting quiet, teary-eyed, feel free to just ask those same questions again...I'll probably share, cry some more...and that is often good for me.

Also, it's been amazing to me that sometimes a random topic of conversation can cause me to struggle. Don't allow this to make you feel awkward around us, this does not mean you have offended me. Just know that I might lean over to Dave to whisper or even say out loud, "let's not talk about _____." Dave and others have been great about transitioning quickly to something else. I'm grateful.

5. Encouraging.
When/where you see evidences of grace, let us know! We have found such comfort in this. I feel so desperately weak. There are days that I think, "I can't do this....I can't go on. The pain is too great and I can't live my life like this." So, when others encourage us by how they see God's strength at work in us and how it is a sign that He is real and over all things, our faith is built. We are reminded that there is indeed grace to carry on.

There is probably more, but these are some things that come to mind. Thanks to everyone for your care and prayers on our behalf. We're so grateful.

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Sacrifice of praise

I am learning, in a whole new way, what Scripture means when it says to, "offer up a sacrifice of praise to God..." Hebrews 13:15. In the midst of all this inexpressible pain, I know I must still praise my Savior and I am seeking to do so with all the strength that He provides because I have none on my own.

I have been listening to and singing he following song, by Mercy Me, every time I am in the car. I listened to it for the first time since all this happened on Sunday, when Dave and I ran an errand together. Tears just flowed down my face as I sang and offered it as a sacrifice of praise to God. So now, when I am in the car, I play it over and over and over again. The other day I literally was just waiting for Mckenna to start complaining that she was hearing repeated so much. But, instead, when the next song came, she asked if she could hear it again. She said, "I want to hear that song again, mamma, cause I want to learn about Jesus." Then she proceeded to say, "I want to hear that song all day long cause I want to learn more about Jesus." I don't know what is going on in her mind and what she understands of all these circumstances, but I do know the Lord is at work...and I was encouraged.

Today, we again were playing it in the car and she said, "this is my favorite song cause I want to praise Jesus...that pleases God, right mom?" I said, "you are right, Mckenna, it pleases Him so much." Then I heard her little voice start to sing along.

"Lord, may you indeed be pleased by our sacrifices of praise to you. And on days like today, when I feel like my heart is going to fall out and when I miss my little baby so much it hurts, may our praise be a means of comfort and help to our souls...and most of all, may you be glorified."

Bring the Rain, by Mercy Me

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You


Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

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The Lord indeed hears.

My sister and Megan Russell both sent me emails that, in a sense, hit the nail on the head with my struggles the past 2 days. They were examples to me that the Lord, indeed, does hear my cries.

From Kelly:

Been meditating on Ps 18 4-6 and wanted to send it your way:

"The cords of death encompassed me; the torrents of destruction assailed me; the cords of Sheol entangled me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called upon the LORD; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears."


As I read this and think about it and pray through it for you...one thing keeps coming to mind. Though you may not feel it or be aware...God is hearing your cries, they do reach Him."


From Megan:

I was reading in Isaiah 30 this morning in my quiet time, and the Lord laid you on my heart. Thought these verses might be an encouragement to you:

"He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry.
As soon as He hears it, He answers you.
And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction,
Yet your Teacher will not hide Himself anymore,
But your eyes shall see your Teacher.
And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying,
‘This is the way, walk in it...’

...the Lord binds up the brokenness of His people,
And heals the wounds inflicted by His blow..."

Isaiah 15.19-21,26

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Glory baby

Jon Smith shared something with us two weeks ago that served them when they lost their baby and has ministered to me. He said our goal in having children is to raise them for heaven. We have no guarantees that they will grow up to love and serve the Savior, but that is what we aim and strive for. So, to know that I bore my baby and that she is now in heaven is assurance that we accomplished our mission as parents for her. We and the Smiths have glory babies and we will see them one day. It does not take the pain and ache away, but it does help to impart hope to my hurting heart.

Glory Baby, by Watermark

Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby…baby..
You were growing, what happened dear?
You disappeared on us baby…baby..
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you…
Until we’re home with you…

Miss you everyday
Miss you in every way
But we know there’s a
day when we will hold you
We will hold you
You’ll kiss our tears away
When we’re home to stay
Can’t wait for the day when we will see you
We will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you
‘till mom and dad can hold you…
You’ll just have heaven before we do
You’ll just have heaven before we do

Sweet little babies, it’s hard to
understand it ‘cause we’re hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we’re stronger people through the growing
And in knowing-
That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would…
Just like He said He would…

BRIDGE:
I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies
and what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home
And it’s all you’ll ever know…all you’ll ever know…

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Grace

Last night was hard...today has been harder, one of the hardest days yet. I often think that I just can't do this because the pain is so great. I read a quote that a friend sent and found comfort in it's words:

"What a mercy that you can never sink lower than grace! When you come to
your lowest point, God interposes. The tide turns when you reach the full
ebb. The darkest part of night is farthest from the rising of sun.
Believer, be of good courage." Spurgeon

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Psalm 57

This Psalm has been ministering to my heart for days now...

Psalm 57:1-3, 7-11

"Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me,
for in you my soul takes refuge;
in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge,
till the storms of destruction pass by.
I cry out to God Most High,
to God who fulfills his purpose for me.
He will send from heaven and save me;
he will put to shame him who tramples on me.
God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness!...

My heart is steadfast, O God,
my heart is steadfast!
I will sing and make melody!
Awake, my glory!
Awake, O harp and lyre!
I will awake the dawn!
I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples;
I will sing praises to you among the nations.
For your steadfast love is great to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the clouds.
Be exalted, O God, above the heavens!
Let your glory be over all the earth!"

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Re-post

An earlier post that I made was very hard to read. Here it is again:

Perspective in Trials

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A well of living water that is close to me

A dear friend sent me this quote...

From Beside Still Waters

from p. 80
"[Jesus] did not merely carry our sins in His own body on the tree (1 Pet. 2:24); He also bore our griefs and carried our sorrows (Is. 53:4). Jesus was not merely a substitute, which is the greatest of all consolations, but He is also affected by my trial. Jesus suffers with you and in you; you are a member of His body, and He supports you. Look into His face by faith and be assured that He is not hard or without pity. Look into His face when you are distressed by the wrongs of others and believe that He knows it, notices it, and has sympathy. Jesus feels what we feel. He sympathizes with us...Beloved, if you have forgotten your Lord (and it would not be unusual if you have), think of Him again. You will find the dear Savior is a well of living water that is close to you."

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Falling leaves

I woke up this morning and looked out my bedroom window. The last time we were here in our home, the trees were full of beautiful colored leaves of yellow, crimson and orange. I remember thinking how grateful I was to have such views from my bedroom window and to be able to enjoy the beauty from my home.



However, today, almost 2 weeks later, I looked out and almost all the leaves have fallen from the trees and they look so bare, cold, empty and frail. I thought what a picture that was of what I was feeling. My heart aches beyond words.



Then the Lord brought this thought to mind...the trees will go through a long, cold winter that may seem to never end. BUT, fruit will be born again in the spring. The tress will warm once again and leaves will bud and spring forth. It brought hope to me. I know there is no timetable for this grieving process and I will never get over not having my precious baby with me. However, I am trusting that the Lord will bring forth fruit from this trial - may our hearts draw nearer to the Savior, know more of Him and love Him more. May we learn more about, dream more of, and long deeper for heaven. May we draw closer to each other in our family and to our friends. And may others come to know the saving knowledge of our Savior through this trial. That is the fruit I am praying and hoping for. And as the spring brings new warmth and beautiful leaves, may the fruit of this trial help warm our painful, grieving hearts in the days ahead and be beautiful in our gracious Savior's eyes as well in ours.

Please continue to pray for us...

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Returning Home

Over the past number of days we have been staying with the Lee family, who have so effectively cared for our bodies and souls and have extended the love of the Savior to us so well. We could not be more grateful. But today we are transitioning back to our home. 

If you think of it, please pray for us...for the Lord to strengthen and sustain us for this challenging day ahead. I am aware that the hardest days are probably yet to come. And although that is a difficult thought for me, I am seeking with all my heart to cling to Jesus and trust in His promised provision of grace for me.

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Great Benefits

Thank you, Jenni, for sending this to me today. You are a living testimony that what Spurgeon writes here is true and real. Thanks for encouraging me by your faith and example and for sending this quote to strengthen my soul today.

Beside Still Waters - "When your faith endures many conflicts, and your spirit sinks low, do not condemn yourself.

There is a reason for your season of heaviness. Great soldiers are not made without war. Skillful sailors are not trained on the shore. It appears that if you are to become a great believer, you will be greatly tested. If you are to be a great help to others, you must pass through their trials. If you are to be instructed in the things of the kingdom, you must learn from experience. The uncut diamond has little brilliance, and the unthreshed corn feeds no one, and the untried believer is of little use or beauty. There are GREAT BENEFITS to come from your trials and depression...

The one who is much plowed and often harrowed will thank God if the result is a larger harvest to the praise and glory of God by Jesus Christ. If your face is now covered with sorrow, the time will come when you will bless God for that sorrow. The day will come when you will see great gain from your losses, your crosses, your troubles and your affliction. From your affliction this glory shall spring, and the deeper your sorrow the louder you'll sing."

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This quote ministered to my soul as I read it today. It's from the book, From Grief to Glory. I'm sure I will be quoting from it more in the days ahead. The author, James W. Bruce III is quoting a portion from Pilgrim's Progress. Oh how my heart aches beyond anything I have ever experienced in this life, the tears flow freely. But how grateful that the Lord has provided things like this for me to read...

"At the end of the story, Christian and Hopeful come within view of the gates of heaven. 'I further saw in my dream,' wrote Bunyan, 'that between them and the gate was a river, but there was no bridge to go over; and the river was very deep.' The two pilgrims enter the river, and Christian begins to sink in the deep waters, the billowy waves going over his head. He exclaims, 'The sorrows of death have compassed about me!'

Hopeful answers: 'These troubles and distresses that you go through in these waters are no sign that God has forsaken you; but they are sent to test you, so see whether you will recall the goodness, which up to now, you have received from Him and if you will live upon Him in your distresses. Be cheerful, Jesus Christ makes you whole.'

With that, Bunyan saw in his dream Christian crying out in a loud voice, 'O! I see Him again, and He tells me, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you." ' Then Christian and Hopeful both take courage; the enemy becomes as still as a stone, and so they cross over."

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Perspective in Trials

A dear friend, who also has lost a precious baby, sent the following email to Dave a few days ago. It has so served me soul:

Dave,

I read this entry in the gospel primer this morning and it deeply affected me and I pray it would have a similar effect on your soul brother.

Perspective in Trials

More than anything else I could ever do, the gospel enables me to embrace my tribulations and thereby position myself to gain full benefit from them. For the gospel is the one great permanent circumstance in which I live and move; and every hardship in my life is allowed by God only because it serves His gospel purposes in me. When I view my circumstances in this light, I realize that the gospel is not just one piece of good news that fits into my life somewhere among all the bad. I realize instead that the gospel makes genuinely good news out of every others aspect of my life, including my severest trials. The good news about my trials is that God is forcing them to bow to His gospel purposes and do good unto me by improving my character and making me more conformed to the image of Christ.

Preaching the gospel to myself each day provides a lens through which I can view my trials in this way and see the true cause for rejoicing that exists in them. I can then embrace trials as friends and allow them to do God’s good work in me.

Today I pray that you would be helped to “forget not all of his benefits” and “be strengthened by the grace of God.” Do not lose heart Dave for this “momentary affliction is preparing for you a weight of eternal glory.” And when you arrive on heavens shore I am sure that your precious Alivia will be the first to greet you after Christ, and she will teach you of the glories of heaven that she has known. For you and I now have glory babies who are safe in the arms of Jesus and have joined that “great cloud of witnesses” that we long to be in. For to us, to live is Christ and to die is GAIN!

You and your precious bride are not alone! We grieve with you and stand by your side in this.

How precious is the blood of Christ that has ransomed our precious little ones away! Surely he has born our grief and carried our sorrows and it is by his stripes that we are healed!

Dreaming of heaven with you.

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Our precious Alivia

As many of you know, our precious little Alivia went home to be with the Lord a week ago today. There are few words to write, but this has been the severest and hardest trial of our lives. However, in the midst of extreme pain, our Savior has been by our side and we can testify that He is real and good and in control of all things.

The theme for me this past week has been from that sweet song:

"He gives and takes away, my heart will choose to say, 'Lord, blessed be your name.' "

There are no words to adequately express our thanks and gratefulness to ALL you who have served, cared and prayed for us so well. You have been a real and tangible expression of God's kindness to us...THANK YOU!

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