A table of provision

A dear friend sent this quote my way this afternoon...

"Sometimes the Lord brings us into the very heart of the wilderness,
just to prove to us how easily and how readily He can provide a table for us even there.
And when all other resources are exhausted, and all supply is cut off, and every spring of water is dried up,
Lo! He opens the eye of our faith to see what His heart of love has prepared.

Are you, dear reader, sitting down to weep like Hagar?
Or like Elijah, in the wilderness-desolate, weary, and exhausted?
Oh, see what appropriate and ample nourishment your God and Father has provided for you.

"Go your way, eat your bread with joy, and drink your wine with a merry heart," for all this table of provision, is for you.
All the love that is in God's heart,
all the grace that is in the Savior's nature,
all the comfort that is in the Spirit's tenderness,
all are yours!

He is in all your salvation!
He is in all your mercies!
He is in all your trials!
He is in all your consolations,
And in all your afflictions!
What more can you want? What more do you desire?

A Father who loves you as the apple of His eye,
A full Savior to whom to go, moment by moment,
And a blessed indwelling, sanctifying, comforting Spirit,
to reveal all to you, and to give you Himself, as the "pledge of your inheritance,
until the redemption of the purchased possession." - Octavius Winslow


In the midst of loss and trial, how easy it is for me to focus on what has been taken, what I don't have, what has changed, and how hard things can be...yes, even now. What a great reminder, that the Lord allows me to be in this place to show me that even here, He is committed to providing my every need. The road we are on and what's ahead can almost seem overwhelming at times, YET He has and will continue to sustain us with His grace and with this table of provision that is all I could want or desire.

June Lily

This evening, Kel came to pick up little June. We thoroughly enjoyed having her and Dave said at dinner what we all were thinking...we will miss having her here. Mckenna prayed for our meal and said, "Thank you, Jesus, that we have June here and that she is here for 5 days." But afterwards, during dinner, Mckenna was sad to find out that 5 days were up. Dave also commented during dinner that June is such an angel baby (and that is the truth...I don't think she fussed or whined the whole time), to which Mckenna replied, "no, dad, she doesn't have wings!" I had to laugh!

Happy 4th of July!

8 months

Our little Alivia departed from us 8 months ago today. It's been a tear-filled day for me. So many emotions and thoughts have flooded my mind. I think particularly, in part, because a year ago I would have been in my 3rd trimester and the reality of Alivia's birthday drawing near is becoming very apparent to me. September seems to be coming very fast....and it's a month that already holds so many emotions for me.

The days seem to fly by, at times, and it's hard for me to believe she has been gone so long. Yet, on the other hand, my days seem to linger and I can wish that this year was past already.

Today I laid on my bed and tried to remember specific things about my little girl. It's hard when those memories of her seem to be fading. It's almost difficult for me to remember holding her, what she looked like and what life was like with her. How grateful I am for my pictures.

I can sometimes wrestle with feeling behind, in terms of where I would have liked to be in life right now. I would have preferred to almost be done having children, and looking forward to enjoying the feeling that others say you experience, when your family is complete. Instead I can feel behind and my body can seem too weak to bear many more children.

With this in mind, I read Psalm 127 just a few days ago. After I first read it, I remember thinking it odd that the Lord would chose to put 2 such random and different subjects into the same psalm. However, it then dawned on me how they seemed to be connected...

"Unless the Lord builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one's youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate."

The Lord is the one building our house, our family. I am not in control of it, nor do I determine the details of it. I will labor in vain if I try. I need not be anxious about how many children I have, don't have or want...yes, children are a gift from the Lord, BUT He is the one in charge of the details of our children. When tempted to think that, "I should have three right now, this is how my life should be...I want to have my Alivia," may I endeavor to remember this Psalm and receive the comfort of knowing that there is a Sovereign One in charge of it all. And may I remind myself that Alivia was like an arrow in the hands of a warrior, accomplishing much with her little life that she was given. The Lord used and is using her life to teach our family so much. I still do want a "quiver full" of these precious gifts, even more so than before, but I realize, that the Lord is building our family and He is for our good!

Look who we get to have...

for the next 5 days! Little June is staying with us, while Mark and Kel are on a much needed and overdue getaway for their anniversary. We will be thoroughly enjoying our time having Juney. Mark and Kel, have an amazing and wonderful time!

June 26

Nine months ago, at this very time of day, Alivia entered the world and was with us for five very precious and short weeks.

So many thoughts crowd my mind today, amidst the craziness of life in loving and caring for my other two precious girls. Life would have been even more full, I'm sure, if Alivia were still here. But I seek to trust in the goodness, sovereignty, and love of our Savior to help me through the extra quietness, less messiness, and deep ache in my heart that the lack of her presence brings.

How appropriate that this week, the pink impatients that my sister planted for me on Mother's Day weekend this year, started to bloom...reminders of my little one.

Today, Psalm 23 has been on my mind, as I have recounted all the mighty ways my Savior has lead me these past nine months and cared for my soul... "Surely His goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

Selah's Birthday

It's only taken me a couple of weeks to post this, but I wanted to recap some of the memorable events that took place for Selah's birthday. On her actual birthday, June 3rd, we took her to Krispy Kreme for breakfast. Dave came with us, since he works very close, and we all got to be together (I forgot my camera, so don't have any pictures of this). One cute thing that happened while there is worth mentioning...

As we walked in, an older gentleman came in behind us. He was smitten with the girls. He kept commenting about them and was engaging them in conversation. The girls were all too happy to announce Selah's birthday to him! We found out he was a grandfather of a good number of grandchildren. Once we sat down with our donuts, he kept waving at them from across the room. He was sitting, enjoying his morning paper with coffee and donut. As we got up to leave, and headed toward to door, Dave asked them if they could say good-bye to the nice man. The girls turned to wave and then Selah, as is often her tradition, yelled out, "hug, kiss!" She ran over wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a little kiss on his cheek. The kind man was so blessed and said, "I have tears in my eyes!" It was quite cute. We love Selah's affection for others.

That evening, Selah got to have her pick for dinner. And it was hot dogs, mac and cheese, and strawberries...typical kid's delight!

The strawberries were my favorite - they were so sweet.

After dinner, Selah opened her presents. By far, her favorite were the green froggy rain boots that she received. Mckenna has a pair of yellow ones, and the girls were always prone to argue over who got to wear them. Of course, they were huge on Selah and she wattled around in them. Anyway, now she has her own and both girls still love wearing them around. It could be a bright sunny day and you'll find the girls outside, up to their knees in rain boots!



On the Friday after her birthday, we had a small family party for her. Dave's parents, my mom and the Plunneckes attended, and that was enough to thrill her! She ran around with the boys and had a great time! Prior to Selah's party, if you asked her anything about her birthday, she would tell you that she wanted a pink butterfly cake. In fact, that is all she would say she wanted! So, of course, I tackled the making of this special cake. My mom had a cut-up cake book that had to be from the 60's that she let me borrow. I remember her making a cake for me when I was little from this book. All that to say, it turned out out fairly well and Selah loved her pink butterfly cake!





After cake, she opened a few presents. Both my mom and Dave's parents gave Selah "singing" princess cards. You open up the card and it plays a princess song. When Selah opened up the first one, she got the cutest grin on her face. Someone loved their gift and a picture says a thousand words...


I still can't believe my Selah Grace is 3 years old. She is such a delight to this family and we are continually giving thanks to God for her!