God answered our prayer

One morning last week, Mckenna and I were sitting at the kitchen table and I was feeding Addie. The song, Jesus Will Meet You There, by Steven Curtis Chapman was playing and this conversation took place:

Mc: Mom, what is this song about?
Me: It means when really hard things happen to us in this life, that God will help us, He will meet us...like when Alivia died. God helped us. Or when someone is really sick and the doctors say there is no medicine for them and they will die. God says He will help them (referencing the lyrics in the song).
Mc: You remember when Alivia died, I prayed? I prayed and asked God for another baby for you. I prayed so much, mom. And God gave us another baby...He gave us Bippers. God answered my prayer, mom!

With tears in my eyes, she gave me a big hug. I have recently been especially aware of the blessing of Adelyn in our lives. Sometimes it seems so surreal that we have walked through what we did, that I was pregnant again and now have another beautiful little girl. That God really did answer our prayers so quickly for another little baby girl is testament to His mercy. Never will she replace, but she has helped soothe the aching in my heart. And just yesterday I was thinking that the Lord knew how hard this past year was going to be and having this little one, has been more of a blessing than I probably am aware of or could adequately communicate. God has indeed been merciful to me.

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Pumpkin patch

Yesterday, our family headed up to Rockhill Orchard to pick pumpkins. Like I mentioned before, the girls were more fascinated by all the bugs and flowers than pumpkins. But there were pretty picked through. Mckenna wanted a small pumpkin and after declining a few that I thought were small, we headed to the check out store to see what was there. It was then that I realized Mckenna wanted one of those mini pumpkins (the 3" round ones). The only one pumpkin we found in the field was designated for Addie. The rest of us got ours at the store. After that, we went to one of our favorite places for lunch, Pistachios.

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Overdue update

I have so much to share, so much the Lord has done in our lives over the past number of months. I won't fit it all in this post, but will share as much as I can.

First, a little update on Addie that is way overdue. As of around the beginning of August Addie's rash completely disappeared. All except a very small patch on her cheek that sometimes breaks out, her rash is all gone! We could not be more grateful and it has made an immense difference in her comfort level and our schedule as well (we had to do so many baths and lotions, etc.). Thanks to all who prayed for her. We'll probably have her tested again next spring to see if her peanut allergy is gone, but other than that, she has no other known allergies and is a very happy and delightful girl.

Second is an update on Dave's job and what has transpired in the last few months. As many of you know, the past 2 years have been a real test for us financially as Dave has faced a number of challenges at the company he has given over 10 years of service to. Since Alivia's death, one difficult event after another at his work, made him question if he should look for another job elsewhere. This past spring, when we realized that we were sinking financially and could not carry on without a significant change, Dave started aggressively interviewing. The process of interviewing in sales is VERY time consuming. Dave had also recently taken a new position within his company that was incredibly demanding. He was gone almost every week. And the days he was home, he was at work early, would come home, eat dinner and then work till midnight searching for new job opportunities. It was very draining on us all. All the emotional exhaustion of not knowing what we would need to do in the upcoming days and not seeing Dave much, coupled with the physical exhaustion of a baby who continued to not sleep well made this very challenging for me. We had many discussions of where the Lord was leading...we even considered if we should sell our home. This went on for about 5 months.

So much of the past number of months is such a blur to me. If asked, I probably could not even tell you what we did over the spring and summer. We stayed home most of the time, as we were not able to fix our van which has needed thousands of dollars of work. It was so much easier for me to stay in and *just do the next thing.* Although at the same time, the demands of being an exhausted mom and not seeing Dave much was, at times, almost overwhelming for me.

After a number of upsets in the interviewing process and the drain it was taking on us all, Dave decided to give the intense interviewing a break for a number of weeks.

Then at the very end of September, Dave got an offer letter from IBM. On October 1st, I woke up late. I still remember looking at the clock and seeing 8am! Then I noticed a card sitting there...a birthday card. I literally had totally forgotten that it was my birthday. Dave had let me sleep in and it was the start of a day that was to be one of the most refreshing days I had had in such a long time. All morning Dave was in his office, wrestling with the offer letter and talking with people at his current company. He was getting tons of counsel from many sources. Around 1pm, Dave took care of the girls so I could go out to lunch with one of my dearest friends, Julie P. It had been so very long since we had just sat and talked...I shared so much with her about the past 2 years, these past months and all the Lord was doing in my heart. My soul was so encouraged from that time. I came home to find out that Dave had, indeed, accepted the offer with IBM!!! That night, Dave arranged a sitter and he took me to The Black Market Bistro (thanks to the Scheffersteins who gave us a gift card there last Christmas). We had a sweet time fellowshipping and rejoicing in the provision of the Lord in this job! Being able to get out 2 times in one day, spend time with 2 of my favorite people and to be so refreshed meant more than I have words for. It was a birthday I'll never forget.

And that leads me to today...the first day of Dave's new job at IBM. He is currently in New York as I write in training. It's a monumental day for all of us. I know there are many hurtles still for us, but we could not be more grateful to the Lord for this job and all the ways he has provided for us over the past months.

The other day Dave and I were chatting and considering this last year of our lives. He was looking over the numbers in our finances and commenting that the Lord has so carried us during this challenging season financially. When I consider it and look at the numbers it just doesn't make sense how we've done it. It's been hard, yes, but in looking back this season just speaks of God's provision and promises to me. Honestly, one of the hardest part of trials for me is just the pain. I don't think I often doubt God's goodness or why this or that is happening. but it's hard for me simply because it just hurts so much....losing our baby girl, and seeing the ripple effect and further hardship and pain it has brought to other areas of our lives. But, provision and needs - COMPLETELY MET! Yes, we still have a broken van, etc. but we have not missed a meal, our closets have clothes, and we have a roof over our head...and even in my hurt and emotional needs - He always seems to meet me in the toughest times. I hate that it hurts so much...the pain is overwhelming and lonely at times. But my fears are put to shame when I see the faithfulness of my Lord.

One final word to my husband. I hope he gets to read this tonight before he goes to bed - Dave, you are my hero! I am just amazed at the grace of God in your life and how you have cared for your family during these past months...yes, 2 years now. You have led us, and directed me back to our Savior, the One who is able to meet my every need, and you have encouraged my heart when I was tired and weary...more so than ever before in my life. Thank you for working so incredibly hard for your wife and girlies, doing so with joy, and fitting in time for us. Thanks also for taking this past week off. It has been a long whole year since you have been able to take a week off from work and the girls and I absolutely loved having you around the house... and going to lunch and the pumpkin patch! We love you so much!

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Flowers...

from the pumpkin patch. My girls were more interested in flowers and bugs than pumpkins! More to come later from our trip to the patch!

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It was a beautiful fall day and the wind was blowing.

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Monumental moments

This past Sunday we dedicated Adelyn Alivia to the Lord at our church. It was a moment full of very mixed emotions for me. Ever since losing Alivia, baby dedications at our church have been extremely hard for me. Yes I rejoice with all the parents very much, but it's also a bittersweet moment where the wound in my heart is more deeply felt. So, as we stood on Sunday, I was remembering our little girl who is no longer with us, but also giving thanks for the amazing gift that little Addie is. I don't think a day goes by where we don't comment in our home, how much we love her, how cute she is, what a perfect baby God gave us, or how we can't imagine life without her.

Then on Monday, Addie officially turned 10 months old. Hard to believe. Before we know it, she'll be one! In honor of her dedication, I took her outside on Sunday evening to capture of a few pictures. I could not choose a favorite, so bear with me as I post a ton :)



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A flower

Almost daily Selah will ask me, "mom can I pick a flower for you?" I regularly see little vases around the house with everything from weeds to grass to real flowers. I love it. Reminds me to treasure these little girls that are growing so fast. Yesterday this is what she handed me. The vase was filled with water and the little one inch stem was stuck down in, barely touching the water. Sweet girl.

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What we need

Read this today. It's from a book that I received for my birthday recently. The author, Nancy Guthrie, is talking about how Jesus submitted to God, even against his fleshly desires, in the garden of Gethsemane.

"Jesus knows what it feels like to bring a heartfelt, passionate prayer to God and to hear God say, in effect, 'I've got something else in mind. I have another plan. And that plan is going to involve intense suffering on your part.' Somehow it helps me to know that Jesus wrestled with God's plan for his life - and his death - even as he submitted to it, because I, too, have wrestled with God's plan for my life even as I have sought to submit to it. Maybe you have too."

Later Nancy writes...

"What we need most is not to hear God say yes to our requests. What we need is to be filled with such deep confidence in the character of our Father that when he says no, we know he is doing what is right and good for us. What we need most is the faith to trust him.

Some claim that strong faith is defined by throwing our energies into begging God for a miracle that will take away our suffering and then believing without doubting that he will do it. But faith is not measured by our ability to manipulate God to get what we want; it is measured by our willingness to submit to what he wants.

It takes great faith to say to God, 'Even if you don't heal me or the one I love, even if you don't change my circumstances, even if you don't restore this relationship, even if you allow me to lose what is most precious to me, I will still love you and obey you and believe that you are good. And I believe that you, as my loving Father, will use everything in my life - even the hard and hurtful things - for my ultimate good and your eternal glory, because you love me.' " -Nancy Guthrie

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Cherrio girl

This little girl loves her cherrios. She's been sick lately and refusing to eat, but put cherrios on her tray and she inhales them!

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H2O | questions

My sister sent the following article to me, mentioning that the writer (Frank James who lost a close brother) articulated so many of her own thoughts and questions that she has been unable to. It's a very honest and open look into the emotions and questions that can accompany grief. Particularly, where was God and why did He allow this? It's very well done and was encouraging to read. I can so relate to this following statement:

"Grief is a relentless predator. Those who have lost loved ones tell me that one never completely escapes it. Strangely, a part of me does not want the grief to stop, because the grief itself is a connection to Kelly (his brother). Yet another part of me is so weary from carrying the burden of a broken heart."

Read the full article here.

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Toilet paper pumpkins

Yesterday we made these very simple and easy pumpkins. They look great and make great fall decorations. It was something both my girls could do easily with just a little help from mom stuffing in the newspaper and fabric. All you need is:

Toilet paper rolls (one for each pumpkin)
Newspaper (one sheet per pumpkin)
Fabric fat quarters
Twigs
Ribbon

Lay each piece of fabric down, covered by one piece of newspaper. Put your TP roll in the center. Then stuff the paper in the hole working around in a circle.

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Then do the same with the fabric.

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Next, take a twig and stick it down into the center. And finally tie a bow around the twig. Voila!

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Mckenna does not like bows at all and, of course would not even entertain the thought of adding one to hers. So, she cut out a butterfly to add...

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Fall Festival


On Saturday, we all went as a family to the Back-in-Time Fall Festival at the Agricultural Farm. What a great time we had. It was the perfect fall day and the girls had a blast. They learned about the ways of doing many different things years ago and had lots of hands activities to participate in. With Dave so busy with work for so long and weekends being catch up days, we really have not had opportunity to do too much all together, so this was a treat.

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Tinsmithing

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Gardening


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Grinding corn

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Laundry

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Steam tractor

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Little Miss Addie enjoying the afternoon

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