.The Castro Family.

Addie girl!

A popsicle

Just the recipe for a sore little throat...

A little over a week ago, the girls both got a virus that left them with an awful sore throat. Selah got hit the worst with it, and for about 2 days she stayed in her jammies and ate popsicles at the table. She would announce to anyone who would listen, "I got Mckenna's snickness."

Frustration

Dave sent me the following email, containing a quote that he had read, while he was away on a business trip this week. He mentioned that this is something he needed to remember. Well, I need to remember it too, but sadly all too often I forget. While a more biblical definition could probably be assigned to the emotion "frustration," I think it's so good nonetheless.

" 'There is no "future" in 'frustration'.

...the word future isn't found in the word frustration...neither is a future in sight--in our vision, in our mind--when we are frustrated. It demonstrates a lack of eternal focus.

I remember shortly after Alivia died, how I was less inclined to be frustrated because I was so aware of the eternal inconsequence of the things I often get frustrated over."

Thank heaven

We regularly give lots of thanks around here for little girls...especially this one lately. What a gift she continues to be to us!

The best Valentine's Day gift

This year it came in the form of a smile. For the very first time, Adelyn smiled yesterday...a big grin from ear to ear. My heart just about melted at the sight. Today we took a little video of her...

Adelyn Smiles from Heather Castro on Vimeo.

Blizzard 2010

The Plunneckes left us this past Thursday, after having been here for almost a whole week. After the initial dump of snow they decided to ride out the next one with us. So glad they did!

Not more than an hour after they left, I missed them already! The house was way too quiet with 5 less kids. We had such a blast and made a lot of memories that I'm hoping our oldest kids will not forget. In the day after they left I put together this little clip, highlighting our week together. I told Kelly maybe we can make this a tradition. Although, I think Mark might have something to say about that. I think he has had enough snow-shoveling, wood-hauling at the Castros for a very long time :).

Here it is:

Blizzard 2010 from Heather Castro on Vimeo.

Please pray...

We just got word this morning that friends of ours, Jordan and Tali Kauflin, have entered into a very difficult trial. Their son, Jack, has been diagnosed with leukemia. Please join us in praying for them, for sustaining grace and supernatural strength to walk through this trial.

"Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of race, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:14-16

Roses

As I mentioned earlier, Dave was gone all last week on a business trip. All I can say is that I was so grateful to have him home. We so missed him. I lost count how many times Selah would call our from her bed, through the tears, "When is daddy coming home?" She did not feel well at all and just wanted her daddy. Precious and heart-breaking.

Anyway, when he arrived home, he got tons of hugs and lovin' from his girlies. And for his wife, he brought a beautiful bouquet of these. I am loving them! And with all this cold and snow, I am enjoying the color that they have brought to my table, as well as the reminder that spring will be here soon.

SNOW, SNOW, SNOW...and more SNOW!

We have had quite the adventure over here at our house for the past number of days. All I can say is we are making quite the memory with 8 kids and 6 adults, under one roof. We did not have internet until sometime yesterday. It's been constant action here and I have not had a spare moment to go through all the pictures and video I have taken, not to mention write an update of all this craziness and fun. Mark just figured out the issue I was having in getting my old photo software on this new computer. I look forward to using it as I go through the pictures we have taken over the last number of days....but who knows when that will be!

In the meantime, my sister wrote something up here and you can read what it's been like for us during this storm. All I can say is we are going from getting one meal to clean up, to feeding the babies, then to bundling up the kiddos, to unbundling and warming them up and then to doing it all over again! It's been a fun memory that I'm sure we'll be looking back on and laughing at for some time.

Empty containers

"We have many cares - our children, our business, our homes. Frequently, we do not bring these cares to God, feeling that they are too little to mention to Him. This is absurd! Have nothing else to do with such a sinful silence. Tell it all to Jesus. The Lord tells you to cast all your care upon Him, for He cares for you (1 Pet. 5:7). Tell Him! Why carry your sin, your need, and your care? Why not have greater desires and broader expectations? After all, Jesus says, 'According to your faith let it be to you' (Matt. 9;29).

There are times when the angel of mercy flies around the homes of God's people and brings an abundance of precious blessings. Sometimes while we sleep, the angel of mercy hovers on soft wings, but there is no empty container in which to pour the blessing. Later the angel visits another home, where in their prayers the residents set out a number of empty containers. The angel fills the containers from the supply of overflowing mercy, and when the petitioners awake they find an abundance supply of rich grace.

Some have feeble wishes, small desires, and slender prayers, or hardly any prayer at all. 'You do not have because you do not ask' (James 4:2). Others have large desires, earnest prayers, great faith, and large expectations. God gives according to your faith." - Spurgeon

This was a good read for me this morning. This week Dave is away on a business trip, Selah has come down with a fever and baby has been doing what newborns do best - waking up lots to eat! I love holding and cuddling her, but it is exhausting when it's in the middle of the night :). All that to say it's been an exhausting and very demanding week. As I read this Spurgeon quote, I realized how much I run from one thing to the next, often without praying and petitioning the Lord for help. He wants to hear me, he desires to help and wants me to lift up in prayer, even the most mundane of requests. He cares about the housework I have to do and wants to give me strength to do it, he cares about my lack of sleep and desires to give me rest of soul and mind and body, he cares about our house that I am seeking to keep warm (with our wood stove) and will provide the help to load wood, he cares about my little one who is sick right now and desires to give me the grace to care for her. How often I forget this. I want to be one who has set out lots of empty containers for the Lord to fill with grace. I want Him to be glorified through me and my dependance on Him, as evidenced through many prayers being lifted up.

I was convicted this morning of how quickly I ran to the medicine cabinet last night to get tylenol for Selah and didn't even take a moment to pray for her. I want to rely more and be humbled by the fact that I need the Lord for EVERYTHING.

Cheeks so chubby

Loving these kissable cheeks that are growing bigger every day!

The "fine print"

I think Dave's favorite Christmas present this year came from the Ploons. Mark created the following gift certificate for Dave. I came across it yesterday as I was cleaning up the counters and it made me laugh all over again.

Mark found the picture somewhere on the internet and came up with wording for the "fine print" all on his own (with the help of another handy gift card).. And I think it's pretty Hilarious! Mark printed it out on his printer and after taking a picture of it, it's even more blurry. So, for your enjoyment, I'm including the wording of the "fine print" below:

"Get one (1) free game of golf at Laytonsville Golf Course with this lame faux-free-golf-day coupon during the period stated on the front. Includes equipment rental, libations (a'la lager), and balls (golf), and caddy (since the source of this coupon got no game). Membership rules apply. Don't ask me what that means - I'm copying off another coupon. Valid with other offers, assuming our wives are OK with it. This coupon may not be exchanged for cash, sold, transferred, or reproduced. Actually, I guess it can but that would be embarrassing for all of us. If lost or stolen or marred by certain little individuals not aware of this coupon's lame value, don't sweat it."

Thanks, Mark! Dave is all too excited that you are going to take up golf and give it a try.

Laundry

Contrary to what I might have said 16 months ago, lots and lots of laundry is a blessing to me these days and I don't seem to mind it. When Alivia was born 16 months ago, it seemed like the laundry exploded! There was so much to do. Then when we lost her and I started doing laundry again, I found myself crying through the loads I would do. There were no more little baby pieces to wash and the laundry seemed to get done much faster.

So, now with little Adelyn, laundry has exploded again. But it's a sign of life for me and I'm enjoying washing all the itsy bitsy clothes again.

Tiny toes

Beauty Will Rise

Apart from my beloved Bible and Spurgeon's, Beside Still Waters, I think Steven Curtis Chapman's newest album, Beauty Will Rise, has most served me in my grieving process. If you know of anyone who has walked through tremendous trial, I think this album might serve them. I am really at a loss for words to best describe it, mainly because I don't think I will do it justice. It's simply excellent! I recently found and read the following write up on it, by someone who knows how to write, unlike me.

So, on a day like today, when I am struggling to trust, to hope, and to fight for joy and faith, I am playing this on my ipod non-stop. I'm listening to lyrics by someone who has also walked through a heart breaking tragedy and has chosen to trust and hope that, Beauty will rise. And I'm encouraged and provoked to do the same.

Favorite things

Baby's pink bunny slippers (that really stay on)

Love this little girl!

No more training wheels!

My girls had a good case of cabin fever yesterday. I picked up Mckenna from school midday and when we got home, they begged me to ride their bikes outside. Mckenna has always rode this little tiny bike with training wheels. It's really too small for her, but as of last summer/fall she was still too scared to try the new used big girl bike we had for her.

Yesterday we got home and I was inside feeding the baby. All of a sudden both girls come racing inside and Mckenna announces that she can ride her big bike. I thought she was kidding, but I go out to see her hop on and go!!! She taught herself just like that to ride with no training wheels. Maybe she will be athletic after all!

Thank you!

This post is an attempt to just say "thanks" to all of you who have emailed, stopped in, made meals and left messages checking up on me over the past number of weeks. As many know, life is busy with a newborn, so I have not been the best at returning calls and emails...but every one of them has been a blessing and encouragement to me.

I also wanted to give an update on how we are doing, since I have not been able to let friends know who have inquired (simply because of the craziness of life right now). In a nutshell, we are doing well and are thoroughly enjoying the gift of Adelyn to our family. She is amazing! She is not the best sleeper, so I am pretty exhausted these days, which can alter my perspective on life and make the smallest things seem huge! But it's such a brief season and I am "trying" to just enjoy my little one and remember to eat and rest when I can (which I am not the best at...you can ask my sister and husband :).

In the arena of grief, I have not wrote about it for awhile. In fact this post has been in the making (in my head) for some time. I have not wanted to take away from communicating the joy that our newest little one is. And I have not wanted to sound as if I am complaining by expressing some of the challenges that this season has brought. But many have asked, and I simply want to update those dear friends and also communicate how faithful God continues to be to us.

The road of grief has picked up in intensity for me since Adelyn came. That may come as a surprise to some...in ways it was for me too. Simple things like listening to Addie cry or watching her sleep can bring back very intense memories of having Alivia and flashbacks of the night we lost her. Sleep can be, at times, restless and we can wake up in a panic or with anxiety filling our hearts. I check on Adelyn constantly and she is usually always very near to me. We don't really have a strict schedule and I find myself doing things very differently with her...some things I vowed I would never do with a newborn and are not "according to the books." But for us, that's ok. I just want to focus on enjoying her and know all things, like schedule, sleep, etc. will fall into place in time.

This week, especially, I have found myself remembering Alivia. Adelyn will be 5 weeks old on Friday...the age of Alivia when we lost her. Alivia was also born on a Friday, so the timing is similar. I find myself remembering back to that week and all I did with her...and thinking I had absolutely no clue what was ahead for us through each of those activities. I also look back in amazement as some of those things were gifts from the Lord, because simply, He knew. We took lots of pictures that week, even had family pictures taken the day before we lost her. I took her to the orchard we love and we spent time outside enjoying the fall weather.

My longing for heaven only increases with each passing day, as well as my appreciation for all Jesus has done for me. The other day I was in the car with Dave, listening to a song about the Cross and tears just filled my eyes...the truths of the gospel have so much more meaning to me now. It's because of Jesus that Alivia can be with Him and I can know strength and grace all my days. Days can be bitter and I can look at the world with an ache in my heart as so much is not as it should be because of the curse of sin. But the day is coming when the Lord will wipe away all tears and redeem all things for good. As I continue to press on through grace, I think about the day we will be reunited with our little one and our faith will be sight. The road of grief is a lifelong one, but through it I am learning more about my Savior, trust, faith and heaven than I think I would otherwise. For that I am grateful. The Lord, indeed, does all things well and for good. It's a hard truth to wrap my mind around, but we have found this truth to be our comfort during our hardest days.

So, once again, thank you to all of you who have cared, carried us on your hearts and served us in countless ways over the past year and a half now. We are so indebted to you and grateful beyond words.

Coconut-almond power bars

It seems there is a baby boom among my friends for the past few months. So, I thought this recipe might come in handy for anyone looking for some extra calories when nursing.

I needed something that I could grab quickly, was healthy and had a calorie, energy boost. And because I am on a "somewhat" gluten free diet, these fit the bill. I can't remember where I originally got this recipe...I think maybe my sister. I tweeked it slightly and this is what I came up with. I made a bunch of these before Adelyn came and just last week made another batch. I literally have not been doing barely any cooking at all (putting all my frozen dinners to work), so this was the first thing I have made since Addie arrived. That tells you how hooked I am on them!

2 cups almonds (raw)
1/2 cup flax meal (flax seeds ground in a small coffee grinder or blender)
1/2 cup shredded unsweetened coconut
1/2 cup unsalted almond butter, roasted tastes yummy
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 cup coconut oil
3 Tablespons agave nectar
1 Tablespoon vanilla extract
1 cup dark chocolate 75%

Place almonds, flax meal, shredded coconut, almond butter and salt in a food processor. Pulse briefly, about 30 seconds.
In a small saucepan, melt coconut oil over very low heat. Remove from stove and stir in agave nectar and vanilla into oil. Add this mixture to the food processor and pulse until ingredients form a coarse paste.
Press mixture into a 8 x 8 glass baking dish and chill in the refrigerator for about 1 hour, until mixture hardens.
In a small saucepan, melt chocolate over very low heat, stirring continuously. Spread melted chocolate over bars and return to the refrigerator for 30 minutes, until chocolate hardens.
Remove from the refrigerator and cut into bars. They store very well in the fridge in an airtight container for a number of weeks.

Makes 20 bars, doubles well.

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