My Grammy

I awoke this morning to find out that my beloved Grammy died last night. She was my mom's mom and lived with my mom. We were all very close to her and my girlies loved her dearly. It came very unexpected and as of right now, I am not sure what happened. Dave found out right as I fell asleep last night and everyone decided to not tell me until I awoke today...I am grateful. I could not even pull myself out of bed until after 11 today. Dave took off and is helping with the girls. All I could do was lay in bed as I tried to process all that is going on in my world right now. I cried some, but mostly was numb. As I closed my eyes I kept seeing flashbacks of my Grammy over this past year...we got to live with my mom and her over the spring as we waited for our house...that was a sweet time. My girls loved her so much and Selah would love to go in to Grammy's room and read books together. I can still hear Grammy's voice reading to her. And it seems like just yesterday that she was sitting in our living room back in October, holding my sweet Alivia, as she met her for the first time. I can still picture her sitting beside me at the Lee's house, the day after we lost Alivia. She grieved with us. Grammy sat right across the aisle from us at Alivia's memorial service...vivid memories.

Oh these waves of grief that seem to just take my breath away and sap my strength. Wave upon wave...

Please continue to pray for us over the next week or two. Please pray for my mom. We will probably be having many out of town relatives, services to attend and much more grieving ahead. I am very aware of my need for sustaining grace right now.

A friend sent me this poem yesterday and as I laid in bed this morning, I was reminded of it:

When thou passest through the waters
Deep the waves may be and cold,
But Jehovah is our refuge,
And His promise is our hold;
For the Lord Himself hath said it,
He, the faithful God and true:
"When thou comest to the waters
Thou shalt not go down, BUT THROUGH."

Seas of sorrow, seas of trial,
Bitterest anguish, fiercest pain,
Rolling surges of temptation
Sweeping over heart and brain
They shall never overflow us
For we know His word is true;
All His waves and all His billows
He will lead us safely through.

Threatening breakers of destruction,
Doubt's insidious undertow,
Shall not sink us, shall not drag us
Out to ocean depths of woe;
For His promise shall sustain us,
Praise the Lord, whose Word is true!
We shall not go down, or under,
For He saith, "Thou passest THROUGH."
--Annie Johnson Flint

Based on Isaiah 43:2 --

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.