He drew me up

I had people tell me, but I didn't really want to believe it, that the hardest days often come many months after losing a little one. Well, it's true. Yesterday was one of those days. Wednesday evening I was not doing well at all. I sat in bed for over an hour and just cried as flashbacks plagued my mind. It was almost as bad as the initial night after I lost Alivia. The next morning I woke up with the awareness of reality. I felt like I was in a pit and couldn't get out. I didn't want to talk with anyone, I didn't want to read, I didn't have motivation to do anything. Dave called my sister and she came over, but I really didn't want anyone over (and that's not the norm). But I'm glad she came. Somehow she must have gotten all her kids to Elizabeth's house and then over to me...all in about 30 seconds - that's Kelly for you. She took right over for me...taking care of the girls, giving them lunch, etc. Yesterday morning is a blur to me now, but I know I went upstairs, took a long hot shower, then sat on my bed for hours. I tried to read a Psalm, but was not absorbing almost any of it. I was so exhausted I laid down...and there I stayed for over 3 hours. At one point I remember Dave coming to my side to put a blanket over me (he must have come home from work to check on me) and after that I woke up and it was after 3pm. The girls were both napping. I was then able to get a load of laundry in. That night I even made eggs and toast for the family for dinner.

Like I said, I didn't absorb much of what I read in my Bible yesterday, but someone had recently sent me Psalm 40 and I opened up and read through it. I remember reading something about a "pit" and remember crying out to the Lord to help me. This is what I read:

I waited patiently for the Lord;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God. vs. 1-3

Today has been a better day. New day, new mercies.

A word of thanks to Elizabeth Stockton - I want to be like her. So often you will find her home bursting with children. She is always so willing to add any amount to the 4 she has of her own. 6 children, 8 children, no problem. She is one of those ladies who is most comfortable serving behind the scenes, cheerfully and willingly, without praise. Elizabeth, thank you for caring for so many of our children so often. You are a gift from the Lord. Thanks for serving my sister yesterday so she could serve me. I'm so grateful for you!