I desperately need the gospel

Today has been a challenging day. I have been reminded, through a number of circumstances, just how slow I am at almost anything I do. My mind is slow, my body is slow, my responses are slow. It is very humbling for me. I am used to thriving on a schedule and a to-do list. But as of late, even life's most basic tasks I can easily forget to do or can take me all day to accomplish. Simple decisions seem like monumental tasks for me. Hence, I am slow to return phone calls, answer emails or respond when someone asks me a question....my mind doesn't seem to process and think the way it used to...and I can be left tempted to frustration. I don't know what to do tonight or what I want to do this weekend. I can't seem to think through what I should give my family for dinner tonight (even if there are leftovers in the fridge from the wonderful meals we have received). From what I hear, this is normal for me right now and part of the grieving process.

Simply put, I am realizing like never before, that there really is only grace for me for the next 5 minutes of my life and I desperately need the gospel. I am going to forget, make mistakes and do things I probably should not and forget to do things I should. I need a Savior and He is my righteousness. That reminder brings hope to my weak soul.

I am so incredibly grateful for the continued emails and phone calls we receive. If the Lord continues to place those things on your heart to do, please don't stop. They so serve me. But if I am slow to respond, or if you don't hear from me at all, know that you are serving me beyond your understanding, even if I can't tell you personally. I am aware that I will never be able to communicate how grateful I am to the hundreds who have rallied around us in this season...but I am going to spend my life trying!

Philippians 3:7-10 "But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death."