Entrusted, but not in control

Yesterday marked a full month since our little girl went to be with Jesus. It was a difficult day. But it was also my big girl's birthday, which was a blessing. It was a day of mixed emotion, to say the least.

Nights are particularly hard for me and last night especially. Most people we could think of were busy and, at one point, I told Dave I needed to leave and just go for a drive. So, that's what we did. My mom and sister were here to stay with the girls and we headed up 124. Dave continued to text and make calls to see if anyone was free. Once again God provided. The Ellis' and Apolenis' simultaneously got back to Dave saying to come over. They just happen to live a few doors down from each other. We ended up at the Apolenis home. We later found out that they had family staying with them for 10 days and everyone had just left. Christine was obviously exhausted and feeling sick (she is in her first trimester of pregnancy), but you would have never known! We were welcomed with open arms. Sam Ellis walked down about 30 minutes later with fresh pumpkin bread that Priscila had just made. They all talked with us, allowed us to share, laughed with us and prayed for us.

At one point in the evening Joe said something that really ministered to my heart. We were talking about the blessing of children and he said, "we are entrusted, but we are not in control." I keep thinking about what he said and have pondered on the truth of that statement. For me, it's a sobering, yet releasing thought...that God would entrust us with the lives of children - to parent, train and love. It is an incredible privilege. It is also a huge responsibility that one day we will give account for. That should motivate me to put all my heart and strength to the task of mothering my girls. However, ultimately the Lord is completely in control of our children's lives and their destinies. He holds their precious souls in His hands and He can be trusted. So, what does that mean for me? I am released from the need to worry, fear or feel that something I do or don't do can somehow control the future. My God is great...greater than my thoughts, my plans, my endeavors, my hopes, my dreams, even my best efforts. And this God, He is worthy of my trust in Him.

May He strengthen my heart to allow me to trust Him in a way that honors and glorifies His great gospel. He is in control...and He is good.