Week 10, #200

Last week I hit #200 on my 1000 things list. I've been at this for 10 weeks. One would think I should be farther along, right? It's hard. Days go by and I realize I haven't even touched the list. I'm finding it a discipline of the mind. To be thankful is not natural for me. But I'm fighting and when grateful, there is joy! When I find myself angry, those are days I'm least aware of God's immense blessings.

Last Friday. It was a battle of my mind. I heard of the mass shootings in Connecticut. I thought of my list and I was a bundle of confusion and emotion over what had happened.

I could not give thanks.

My heart was hurting for the brokenness of this world. I've been there too. I've felt the deep pain and in, someway, I can understand. The utter shock of having a breathing healthy child one hour and the next moment that child is gone. But this somehow seems harder, to process evil in this way. These children were Selah's age. I found myself cringing at the thought. Somehow it's too much for the mind to bear.

What could I do?

I could mourn. I could pray. I was grateful. Grateful I could relate, even in a small way to these parents. I could understand. Yes, I could mourn with those who mourn and pray for the Lord to do what He did in my heart. He used it for good, as painful as it was and is. He carried us through. He drew my heart. I pray this for the loved ones left behind in Connecticut. I'm grateful for a redeeming Savior and grateful that He will make all things right one day and will wipe every tear away for those who know Him.

*Christmas cookies
*I love Lucy shows
*fresh grain, fresh flour
*pomegranates
*another year of Dave's life
*friends who took Dave out
*Savanna, another year of life
*my dad
*birthday cherry pie, turned out.
*the ability to grieve with those who grieve
*hope in the midst of tragedy
*my girl's compassionate hearts
*the promise, "he will wipe away every tear."
*Dave's cousin, Andrew, a blessing
*sweet family Christmas
*Another year of Addie's life
*Mike + Jess, loved having them
*princess cake, perfect for Addie
*visits from family
*naps
*Laura + Marybeth, their friendships
*white lights on the tree
*watching little people open gifts
*a full day to get ready to leave