Timely Text
I have not written in so long. Haven't had much to say, honestly. My mind has been in a fog of just trying to keep up with the BARE minimum as I have battled issues with my health, heart and mind again. It's been bad, hard, and ugly. This fall, as many others the past few years, will be one to remember. And I know I will look back and recount the faithfulness of God, who carried me through it.
One example of just that was a text I received today. Today was bad. Really bad. Dave had to take work off because of it. I only got 2 hours of sleep because I was wracked with such anxiety and panic all night long.
When I think I just can't go any longer, God always shows up.
I had a counseling appointment today and on the way home, chose to drove some back roads and enjoy the country beauty here. I listened to soothing music and took deep breaths, soaking in the views. My phone started to go crazy, beeping nonstop. I thought something was wrong with it until I looked and saw it was just a long text from a friend, one who knows me well. Probably better than I realize.
I wanted to post it here, so I can always remember this day, and remember the faithfulness of God. He is here with me in the deepest pain of my soul.
"Hey Heather -- I just took a shower (first time in five days! Felt luxurious! Haha) and for some reason was thinking of you.
Do you know how unusually hard your life has been, especially the last five years? That's not to minimize or distract from the many things to thank God for, or the many unusually good things the last five years.
But I hope you know that your live has been HARD for a LONG time. It's been a marathon. And I'm praying you can hold yourself to *those* standards...Not the standards of previous years or other people.
God just popped in my head the thought that He wants you to know that your girls, especially, aren't 'missing out' or being negatively affected by these numerous trials. They're watching you and learning God from you. They're seeing and will understand Him BETER because of the craziness, not in spite of it. They will be more prepared BECAUSE they've watched their mama be real, raw and bloody.
You're not missing the mark as a mother. You're setting the bar high. I hope my Roo gets to see the determination, honesty, abandon, tenderness, and hope of Jesus in me that your girls get to witness in you, every single day."
Just ask Dave. He, too, was in awe of the timeliness of this message. Ask what are some of the main areas of struggle for me? Well this text hit them. It encouraged my heart right where I needed it.
That's the faithfulness of a God who is in this continued storm with me. May my soul not forget it!
