The Innkeeper

I read this, through tears, to my girls yesterday. It's a poem written by John Piper. He dedicated it to, "...all who ever lost a child."

You can also listen to him read it here.

To all those who are hurting today, I pray that as you consider the Savior and all He came to do, it would in some way be a comfort to you...


Jake's wife would have been fifty-eight
The day that Jesus passed the gate
Of Bethlehem, and slowly walked
Toward Jacob's Inn. The people talked
With friends, and children played along
The paths, and Jesus hummed a song,
And smiled at every child he saw.

He paused with one small lass to draw
A camel in the dirt, then said,
"What's this?" The girl bent down her head
To study what the Lord had made,
Then smiled, "A camel, sir!" and laid
Her finger on the bulging back,
"It's got a hump." "Indeed it does,
And who do you believe it was
Who made this camel with his hump?"
Without a thought that this would stump
The rabbi guild and be reviled,
She said, "God did." And Jesus smiled,
"Good eyes, my child. And would that all
Jerusalem within that wall
Of yonder stone could see the signs
Of peace!" He left the lass with lines
Of simple wonder in her face,
And slowly went to find the place
Where he was born.

Folks said the inn
Had never been a place for sin,
For Jacob was a holy man.
And he and Rachel had a plan
To marry, have a child or two,
And serve the folk who traveled through,
Especially the poor who brought
Their meal and turtle-doves, and sought
A place to stay near Zion's gate.
They'd rise up early, stay up late,
To help the pilgrims go and come,
And when the place was full, to some
Especially the poorest, they would say,
"We're sorry there's no room, but stay
Now if you like out back. There's lots
Of hay and we have extra cots
That you can use. There'll be no charge.
The stable isn't very large
But Noah keeps it safe." He was
A wedding gift to Jake because
The shepherds knew he loved the dog.
"There's nothing in the decalogue,"
He used to joke, "that says a man
Can't love a dog!"

The children ran
Ahead of Jesus as he strode
Toward Jacob's Inn. The stony road
That led up to the inn was deep
With centuries of wear, and steep
At one point just before the door.
The Lord knocked once then twice before
He heard an old man's voice, "‘Round back!"
It called. So Jesus took the track
That led around the inn. The old
Man leaned back in his chair and told
The dog to never mind. "Ain't had
No one to tend the door, my lad,
For thirty years. I'm sorry for
The inconvenience to your sore
Feet. The road to Jerusalem
Is hard ain't it? Don't mind old Shem.
He's harmless like his dad. Won't bite
A Roman soldier in the night.
Sit down." And Jacob waved the stump
Of his right arm. "We're in a slump
Right now. Got lots of time to think
And talk. Come, sit and have a drink.
From Jacob's well!" he laughed. "You own
The inn?" The Lord inquired. "On loan,
You'd better say. God owns the inn."
At that the Lord knew they were kin,
And ventured on: "Do you recall
The tax when Caesar said to all
The world that each must be enrolled?"
Old Jacob winced, "Are north winds cold?
Are deserts dry? Do fishes swim
And ravens fly? I do. A grim
And awful year it was for me.
Why do you ask?" "I have a debt
To pay, and I must see how much.
Why do you say that it was such
A grim and awful year?" He raised
The stump of his right arm, "So dazed,
Young man, I didn't know I'd lost
My arm. Do you know what it cost
For me to house the Son of God?"
The old man took his cedar rod
And swept it ‘round the place: "Empty.
For thirty years alone, you see?
Old Jacob, poor old Jacob runs
It with one arm, a dog and no sons.
But I had sons . . . once. Joseph was
My firstborn. He was small because
His mother was so sick. When he
Turned three the Lord was good to me
And Rachel, and our baby Ben
Was born, the very fortnight when
The blessed family arrived.
And Rachel's gracious heart contrived
A way for them to stay—there in
That very stall. The man was thin
And tired. You look a lot like him."
But Jesus said, "Why was it grim?"

"We got a reputation here
That night. Nothing at all to fear
In that we thought. It was of God.
But in one year the slaughter squad
From Herod came. And where do you
Suppose they started? Not a clue!
We didn't have a clue what they
Had come to do. No time to pray,
No time to run, no time to get
Poor Joseph off the street and let
Him say good-bye to Ben or me
Or Rachel. Only time to see
A lifted spear smash through his spine
And chest. He stumbled to the sign
That welcomed strangers to the place,
And looked with panic at my face,
As if to ask what he had done.
Young man, you ever lost a son?"

The tears streamed down the Savior's cheek,
He shook his head, but couldn't speak.

"Before I found the breath to scream
I heard the words, a horrid dream:
‘Kill every child who's two or less.
Spare not for aught, nor make excess.
Let this one be the oldest here
And if you count your own life dear,
Let none escape.' I had no sword
No weapon in my house, but Lord,
I had my hands, and I would save
The son of my right hand . . . So brave,
O Rachel was so brave! Her hands
Were like a thousand iron bands
Around the boy. She wouldn't let
Him go and so her own back met
With every thrust and blow. I lost
My arm, my wife, my sons—the cost
For housing the Messiah here.
Why would he simply disappear
And never come to help?"

They sat
In silence. Jacob wondered at
The stranger's tears.

"I am the boy
That Herod wanted to destroy.
You gave my parents room to give
Me life, and then God let me live,
And took your wife. Ask me not why
The one should live, another die.
God's ways are high, and you will know
In time. But I have come to show
You what the Lord prepared the night
You made a place for heaven's light.
In two weeks they will crucify
My flesh. But mark this, Jacob, I
Will rise in three days from the dead,
And place my foot upon the head
Of him who has the power of death,
And I will raise with life and breath
Your wife and Ben and Joseph too
And give them, Jacob, back to you
With everything the world can store,
And you will reign for evermore."

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Put your feet up

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Throughout this Christmas season the big girls and I have cuddled up on the couch, put our feet up and enjoyed this book by Nancy Guthrie. I'll have to say, I have probably enjoyed it the most, although Mckenna is benefitting. It's a little above Selah's head. But I have found it a great teaching tool this Christmas season and a reminder that I not only need to make room in my heart and schedule for all the busyness and things to do, but also for pausing and considering Jesus, my Savior. It has great questions and application as well as songs to sing together...which the girls love to do.

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Happy Birthday, Addie!

This amazing gift was given to us a year ago. Addie, we love you and are so grateful for you.

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H2O | Christmas

The Lord has blessed our family with wonderful memories so far this holiday season, many birthday celebrations and the blessing of being busy with much to do. However, I'm daily aware of so many who are grieving, struggling, without family, needy, and facing severe trials. Over the past few days, on a few occasions, my eyes have filled with tears as I've thought about this. I think there is a desire for our hearts, especially this time of year, to be light, cheery, carefree, there to be presents all around, parties, and laughter. But the reality is that we live in a sin-filled world, full of pain and sorrow. And during Christmastime, it can be especially felt. 2 years ago, our world was rocked. Christmastime was filled more with tears than it was all the things you think of when you think of this time of year. Somehow listening to Christmas music, decorating, baking, getting a Christmas tree, wrapping presents...all these things just didn't seem appropriate, nor did I want to do them that year.

As you enter into all the wonderful Christmas festivities, which are a great blessing and gift, also consider sharing the burdens of those you know who are struggling and grieving. Send a note, let them know you're praying for them. And tell them that they are not forgotten, nor what they are walking through. Loved ones who have been lost are especially missed and painful trials hurt even more around the holidays. In the year after we lost Alivia, I had a special friend who brought me little gifts on all the major holidays. It was a huge blessing and things like that mean so much and can help ease the deep pain.

That's it. Just a few thoughts as my heart was heavy tonight for all those who are burdened with trials and grief. I'm praying that for those experiencing pain will be comforted by the gift God sent to us, Emmanuel...He is, God with us.

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Mckenna's party

I'm jumping around on birthdays here...a few more pictures to share from Mckenna's big day. Her actual birthday was packed with fun things. We started the day going to Pistachio's (a small hometown cafe that we love) for bagels and hot chocolate. Kel, Larsen, June and Wyatt joined us. Dave was out of town all that week, so later that evening my mom took us out to dinner. And then we met up with Kel and June at the mall to get Mckenna's ears pierced. It was what she wanted for her birthday! To see the event, go to my sister's blog, where she posted a video. I think deciding on which fake diamond earrings to choose was harder than actually getting the piercing!

Then the following evening, she had a few friends over for a slumber party. It was homemade chicken fingers for dinner, with an array of dipping sauces to choose from and a veggie platter. Then, upon Mckenna's request, I made a Christmas tree cake to celebrate with. Later that evening Dave came up with some games that he played in the basement with them. After a movie and a bunch of chit chatting, I think they finally fell asleep close to 11pm! And up around 6am. I think they all had a blast...

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And, Happy Birthday, Dad!! His birthday is today.

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Happy Birthday, Dave!

I'm a day late, but wanted to wish my amazing husband a very Happy Birthday. Poor Dave, I haven't even given him his gift yet, however, I did manage to get some of his friends over last night for an evening of food, foosball and football...some of his favorite things!


I feel like I am swimming in birthdays this year. With the addition of Wyatt and Addie, it just seems over the top busy, in addition of simply getting ready for Christmas. But I love celebrating life and it's a joy to have so many to celebrate with. As of now we have, Wyatt on November 30, Mckenna on December 2, Dave's grandmother on December 5, Dave on December 12, Savanna on December 13 (TODAY...Happy Birthday Savanna!), my Dad on December 14, and Addie on December 18. This year we have done something to celebrate each of these special lives, and tomorrow will have a dinner here for my dad.

Back to Dave for now...I was so grateful to celebrate another year of your life! This year you have been such a means of grace and strength to me as we have walked a tough road. I'm so thankful for you and the husband and father that you are to us. Happy Birthday!



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Lights!

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More of Thanksgiving weekend

I'm still working through my pictures of Thanksgiving weekend and birthday celebrations as we prepare for Christmas and yet more birthdays. Dave's birthday is coming up on Sunday, the 12th and then Addie's the following Saturday on the 18th. But we've already done some celebrating for Addie (more on that to come).

It's tradition in our family to go cut a tree down the weekend after Thanksgiving. This year it was freezing cold, so we all bundled up in search of the perfect tree. Here are some highlights from our time...

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This tree was Selah's pick...
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And Mckenna liked this one...
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And here is the one we got. With a little clipping on top, she actually turned out beautiful inside, although a little rugged looking.
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This is actually the first one Ty and Selah found (the tiny one between them) and were convinced would be perfect...gotta watch those two! And I'm not sure who gave Tyler that saw...
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Wyatt staying warm...
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Heading back with all the trees...
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Lunch afterwards at Ledos!
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Our Thanksgiving Day

Backing up a number of days to our Thanksgiving preparations and celebration. For me, it started a number of days before Thanksgiving arrived. We had the privilege to host a number of my relatives (18 in total, including kids). It was a team effort of mother's helpers and even help from my girls when they could to get ready. The day before, on Wednesday, was by far the busiest day and I overestimated how much I could do in one day (as usual)...and of course, I am always coming up with last minute ideas to squeeze in.

I took a few pictures the night before, of my kitchen while I was making pies...most of which came out terrible...Addie was into my spice cabinet and pulled out a number of bottles and dumped their contents all over. At that point I really didn't care because she was happy and occupied as I finished up. Once in the oven she went to take a peek...

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The girls helped me with the centerpiece, by searching for long twigs which I used in a vase, as well as tried to salvage some of our gourds which were on their last leg {i.e. rotting!}. They made it through the weekend. Mckenna helped me set each place setting and made each of the name tags...

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I borrowed an 8 foot table, which came in so handy. I covered it with burlap (which was also a table runner on our main table) and used it as our appetizer table and later to put all the main meal food on. I've had this old window that I picked up at a tag sale about 7 years ago and...well...Dave never really liked it. I could never part with it all these years and have had it in storage. I pulled it out, roughed it up some more and used it on the appetizer table to hold the cups and paper products and silver ware...and also to say, "Happy Thanksgiving!" {by the way, I'm loving my window markers I got a few weeks back. See more about them here}.

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I am not the pie maker in our family...my sister is! She is an ahhh-mazing baker. I'm not sure how many times I called her and even ran over to her house to borrow something. But, I'm happy to report that my pies did come out. I made 2 apple pies, 2 pumpkin and a cranberry cake. We also had pecan/cranberry pie {my sister}, biscotti and rice pudding {my mom}. It was quite the spread.

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We had our main table set up for adults and a little table for all the cousins...and Addie and Wyatt sat next to each other in their little boosters. Here is everyone...

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Appreciation

We had been waiting on getting a memorial stone for Alivia as we prioritized our spend during the last year or so. Some friends and family very thoughtfully and very generously connected with us and gave toward the monument. Just wanted to take a moment to say Thank You. We are very grateful, humbled and moved by your desire to contribute. We have what we need and hope to buy one very soon.

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Happy Birthday, Mckenna!

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Mckenna, you're 7 years old today. Wow. You're momma cannot believe it. What a gift you have been to your family and so many around you. Your joy and compassion and tenderness has served me on some of the toughest days that we have faced as a family. I'm grateful to celebrate how the Lord has made you into the big girl you are today. I love how you are quick to obey, quick to be sensitive when someone around you needs a hug and quick to pray when the Lord's help is especially needed. I cannot imagine life without you.

We have had a full day celebrating. So far, my favorite moment today has been when we both read books together on the couch, while your sisters were napping, and then cuddled up and took a little cat nap together. Precious. I love you, sweet girl!

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