Catching up

So much has transpired over the last few weeks. Some wonderful happenings and other more deeper, challenging things that have helped me unpack what I'm clinging to, where my hope lies, what I'm living for, and also if my hope and faith are genuine.

Life has been a flurry of activity lately. We had a very spontaneous opportunity to get away for a few nights 2 weeks ago. Dave's dad owns a timeshare and wasn't going to use half of his week. So, he offered it to us. It was a wonderful free getaway. I only had about a 24 hour notice and had to pack up all our food and clothes and necessities....all on top of getting ready for our friends from Sweden to arrive the day we returned. So, we went away and came home to welcome Emil and Birgitta. They came to the States again for a wedding and it was a treat to spend more time with them.

Dave continues to travel almost every or every other week right now. And when he is home, he is often working late. It's been a very demanding season at work for him and for us at home. Things have been tough for us financially, much of it ripple effects after losing Alivia.

On top of all this, a few weeks ago we had to have our HVAC system in our house replaced. A big expense. Then, just a week later, we found out the transmission in our van is going and needs to be replaced, making it one of the most expensive things that can go wrong with our van! I think only a new engine might cost more! So, for the past few weeks we have been without our van. We have managed. We borrowed one to get away a few weeks ago, but other than that have been staying close to home.

With all this, I have not had much time to catch up on my blog, and with Dave gone, life can be especially busy. I literally have been spending almost every free night, studying homeschool stuff, reading up on what to get Addie next for her rash and how to make her creams/lotions.

Just the other day I was thinking back on the past number of months, which have been challenging for us in so many ways. When we moved here, I felt whole, was enjoying our home and my family and for 5 very short weeks, my 3 beautiful girls. Then forever my life was changed. That was the start of a journey we are still on and added to it many more deaths of loved ones and trials to bear. Now, I feel broken. And as I looked out the window thinking these thoughts recently, I realized, I am very broken...BUT I always was. Broken and needy. And Christ has saved me from my brokenness and provided for my greatest need, the salvation of my soul. We know that the Lord is at work in us and through all that we face, He continues to be good and sovereign. As the days pass, the events in our lives become more mysterious and my understanding fails. Even in this there is an underlying hope that carries me on...even on days when it seems so much easier to give up.

So that's been us lately! I hope to do better in the coming days, posting pictures of what we've been doing and of the girls.

Today, I'm grateful for my husband who is strong when I'm weak and trusts the Lord, not what he sees. I'm grateful for my girls, and although this summer already is very different from what I had planned and expected, I am thoroughly enjoying having them at home with me. I'm grateful for my sister, who sticks to me like glue and is committed to caring for me through the thick and the thin. Most of all, I'm grateful for my Savior who literally picks me up and carries me through every day because I have no strength to carry myself. He continues to lift my eyes above this world and helps me to fix them on what awaits me in heaven.