One year

It's been one year since we lost our little girl, Alivia. It's hard to believe one whole year has gone by. Yet, I am so amazed and grateful for how the Lord has carried us through this trial, the toughest of our lives. There are no words to describe how overwhelmed I have felt today by the level of care we have and continue to receive. I was not at all expecting so many to remember, and to extend such lavish expressions of kindness and care. My house is full of flowers, cards and reminders from others that they, too, are remembering with us and continuing to grieve along side us.

Today was the first day I went to visit Alivia's gravesite. I have not been able to go this whole past year. However, I awoke this morning and knew it was something that I was ready to do. My sister was so kind in picking up Mckenna from school and caring for the girls so Dave and I could go. We have not yet purchased a head stone for her grave and I was not looking forward to going and seeing an unmarked spot where she was laid. But a few very dear friends took a flat stone, wrote her name on it and laid it on the ground with pink flowers and a few pumpkins. Thank you, Helen, Jen B., and Kriscinda for your amazing thoughtfulness. You have no idea how much that meant to me. My sister also left a pumpkin with a little note to Alivia that blessed us so much. I wish I had my camera to take a picture of it, but all we had was Dave's phone. But I'm glad we had something to capture the sight of what we saw as we approached the site...I will always treasure the expressions of love that were laid there.

When Dave and I arrived, the day felt so similar to the day we were there to bury her. It was mild and sunny, with a slight breeze. It brought back so many memories that seemed like just yesterday. However, I was very aware that the last time I had been there, I had stumbled to the gravesite, literally. Dave had to hold me up as I could barely make the short walk. Today, however, I was aware of how much the Lord has strengthened me this past year, as I was able to walk over and kneel at the site where she was laid. I was reminded of all the numerous ways God has helped me to make so many baby steps and relearn numerous things that I was not sure I would ever be able to do again - cooking, cleaning, caring for the girls, holding a schedule, waking early before the family, running errands, and now, visiting her gravesite. Yes, he had strengthened me to do that.

Thanks to all of you who have cared for us this past weekend and today, who have sent cards and emails, brought flowers, goodies, stopped in, stayed awhile and loved us. I am simply left overwhelmed and freshly amazed at the love and care of my Savior through you. We are so undeserving of the friends and care we have experienced over this past year...what a keen reminder of the gospel, and the undeserving grace that has been extended to us through our Savior's sacrifice, that makes it possible for us to know Him and for our sweet Alivia to now be with Him.