Devotions

Bear with me as this post is another attempt to get thoughts written down as I wrestle through various areas of life right now....actually so many of my posts are just that.

I realize more and more that I don't have anything figured out...except maybe, as John Newton once said, "that I am a great sinner and that Christ is a great Savior."

My times with the Lord have proven to be very challenging for me lately. It seems whenever I go to sit down and read, pray and journal, my mind drifts to my life circumstances, my baby girl and many other things going on in my heart. It can leave me emotional, discouraged, sad and lacking motivation to do anything.

I tried to start back having devotions first thing in the morning, but instead of being refreshed I could barely get up from those times to make breakfast for my family. Or the girls were distracting when they woke up. So, for now I'll probably go back to mid-day devotions, once Selah is down and Mckenna is settled in her room. However, sometimes by the time Mckenna is settled after doing school, Selah wakes up. Thank the Lord for movies!

Sometimes I wonder how well I'm getting fed right now. My mind can be so distracted during messages, reading is still very tedious, and my prayer time is little at best. Devotions are sporadic.

I have found comfort in the fact that the Lord is the founder and perfecter of my faith, NOT me. He knows what I need, when I need and how I need it. And I trust that He will give me the strength, motivation and determination when necessary to read when He knows is best and to sit and pray when it's best. He is my shepherd leading me, not the other way around.

There is a great need, as there always is, to go back to the gospel...more than I have lately. It's there, at the foot of the Cross, that I can lay all my struggles to rest.

There is a very important part that spiritual disciplines take in a Christian's life. But I think, for me, I just need to rest and be content in the fact that they will look very different for me now and for many months ahead. And trust that the Lord will use His Spirit and others to gently lead and guide me.