You know my way

I have been reading Psalm 142 all week long. In fact, every time I sit down to read, I can't seem to go beyond it in my Bible. It seems to so adequately express my cries to the Lord lately and also bring the comfort my soul needs.

This past week proved to be so much better than the previous week, but it still held many moments of grief, tears and questions. I told someone this week that I can so easily feel weary with how much my heart hurts and how hard life is...with no breaks. In the kindness of the Lord, life does hold moments of laughter and joy, but the hurt and heaviness in my heart never leaves. This is my portion right now. And it's very hard. BUT, as I meditated on Psalm 142 this week, I was encouraged. Yes, this trial is God's assigned portion right now, but He is my greater portion and refuge. All those many moments when my spirit is fainting within me, He knows my way....how that encourages me.

I love how this psalm ends by declaring that the Lord will deal bountifully with us. He has and I know He will. It's hope that I can hold onto both today and in the many tough days ahead.

"With my voice I cry out to the Lord;
with my voice I plead for mercy to the Lord.
I pour out my complaint before him;
I tell my trouble before him.

When my spirit faints within me,
you know my way!
In the path where I walk
they have hidden a trap for me.
Look to the right and see:
there is none who takes notice of me;
no refuge remains to me;
no one cares for my soul.

I cry to you, O Lord;
I say, “You are my refuge,
my portion in the land of the living.”
Attend to my cry,
for I am brought very low!
Deliver me from my persecutors,
for they are too strong for me!
Bring me out of prison,
that I may give thanks to your name!
The righteous will surround me,
for you will deal bountifully with me."