What she knows

I have not been posting as much lately. I have had problems with my computer and have not had internet connection as much. But, as well, I find that I don't seem to have as much to write these days.

This past week was, by far, one of the most challenging for me. There were many tears, many moments of feeling utterly hopeless and overwhelmed. Yet, it did include many evidences of God's grace and kindness. On Friday my mom took off work and we went to my favorite store over in VA, The Lucketts Store. They had an annual sale this weekend. My dear friend, Christine watched my two girls all afternoon so I could get out with mom...even amidst not feeling well herself. Then on Saturday, Dave took the girlies on a date to Ikea. That left me home for a few quiet hours to read and do some things around here. It was refreshing. Then Jonalee came over in the afternoon and we again went over to Lucketts.

However, my highlight of the week was, by far, the time Dave and I had with Jeff and Julie Purswell on Friday night. This couple has held a dear place in my heart for many years now. Apart from my mom and maybe a couple other ladies, no one has provoked me to godliness and had such an impact on my life as Julie has. She has spurred me on in love for my Savior, my husband and my children, and she has walked before me what it looks like to be a Titus 2 woman. For that I am indebted to her and forever grateful for her influence in my life. Jeff is one of the pastors at our church. He has studied Scripture for years and his knowledge of God's Word, theology and doctrine is...well, GREAT. My life and our church are richer because of this man's influence. I love it when Jeff preaches on Sundays...he is one of my favorites!

Back to Friday night...I have been wanting to sit and chat with Jeff for sometime. I had lots of questions I wanted to ask him. Jeff and Julie graciously took almost 3 hours to sit and talk with us. I asked Jeff lots of questions about heaven, what Alivia might be like now, what she knows, is thinking about, etc. Jeff referenced many scriptures that solidified our hope that she is, indeed, with Jesus. I am hoping to share more soon of all that we learned that night. But for now, I wanted to just share one thing that Jeff said from the night that so stood out to me and brought much comfort.

At one point in the evening, I asked Jeff what Alivia knows about us, where she is, what is going on, etc. And, as part of his answer, he said this: "She knows more than she did before (2 Cor. 5, Phil. 2). I believe she is perceptive to recognize where she is, and who He is...that she is home, with the One she was made for." Then, Jeff said something like this, "I believe she is aware of you as her parents, she is grateful for the family she was born into, and she knows that you loved her very much."

This is just a tidbit of the rich conversation that we had with the Purswells. It was a sweet time and we were served so well. At the end of the evening, Jeff and Julie prayed for us. During that time, I felt such a peace over me...unlike anything I have felt for so long. For months now, I have daily battled memories, fears, anxieties, and daily struggles to live....life is incredibly hard right now. But for that moment, there was a complete peace over my mind and soul. I felt the Spirit's presence. It was a sweet reminder that, although my mind and body can so often be in turmoil, it is well with my soul. I often don't feel it, but it is true. Jesus is my peace, my way of peace with God through what he has accomplished on the Cross.

Tonight, I am resting in the truth that my little one is safely home...rejoicing in and praising the One she was made for.