Questions

As of late, my mind has been inundated with questions. Some on the lighter side, others that can take my breath away. Some have easy answers, while others have no answers...

*When will I have a regular schedule again for my day?
*When will I be able to get up early again?
*Will my girls always watch so many movies? When do I cut back, how do I cut back?
*What kinds of activities should I plan and do with them?
*Are these heavy feelings of guilt for my lack of mothering/training good or bad?
*Will my girls remember this time as a boring season with not much to do and how will they remember me during this season?
*Do I spend too much time on my computer and do I spend enough time with them?
*Will I always keep my blog pink with a picture of Alivia? When would be the appropriate time to change it if I do?
*Will I always keep my wall of her pictures?
*When should I put her room back in order? It's so hard sometimes to walk by it's closed door...should I open it?
*Will I ever be able to look at her clothes? Should I save them?
*How long will the memories and flashbacks plague my mind?
*Will I forget her? I feel like I can barely remember her sweet baby smell...will I remember all the wonderful things about her?
*Will I ever have another baby?
*Will life always continue to be so hard?

On and on the questions come. I'm grateful for my husband and dear friends who often help me think through hard questions with the gospel in mind. The GOSPEL...I find it brings fresh perspective and calms my fears, anxieties and guilt with the knowledge of God's grace and mercy toward me, an undeserved sinner.